Out-of-Control

The jaws clench tight. The head aches.

It's this situation. This chaos in my life.

I feel out-of-control. Helpless.

I don't like it. It pushes my buttons. Causes the stomach to knot further.

I want to kick. To flail. To scream.

It hurts. Feels unsafe. Insecure.

I can't fix it. There's no magic wand to wave. No fairy godmother.

Only the uncertainty.

It's funny. How often I've said it.

“God, You be in charge.”

Here I am, not in control. Not in authority.

Only God. And I am fussing.

Why won't I listen to my own words? Why won't I hear His?

“I will cry to God Most High, to God who accomplishes all things for me.”

Psalm 57:2

He wants to accomplish ALL.

He is able to complete ALL.

The very position I detest is the best position to be: helpless.

I cry out: I relinquish control.

And He accomplishes.