No One Remembers

No one remembers the frosty morn' of his birth.
They've forgotten the parties and long legs, running. The pounding down the stairs and turning-into-man-voice answering,"Yeh?", when I called.
Pizza and pretzels and "No cake, only pie!" , for his birthday. These were his favorites, on his last.
These are the things a mother hides in her heart. Keeps and treasures. I imagine that grasping these close will ease the ache. Lessen the loss. Yet I am startled to find, no one else remembers. And worse, with each passing year, I too have forgotten. I know that he laughed, but I can no longer hear it, echoing. I catch a glimpse of him in his brothers, but can no longer bring his face into my mind's eye.
Though it hurts that others have forgotten that today is his birthday and though I will quietly make pizza today, remembering, even so, I feel this pull towards heaven. This sense of his presence being ahead, and no longer behind. Even this day, his birthday, has lost the urgency to celebrate.
I am like Mary, who "treasured up these things and pondered them in her heart." (Luke 2:19). I think she was looking for the bigger picture, the broader view. God's perspective. It is only as I am willing to see my son's life and his death, with an eternal perspective, that I find the piercing of my heart, lessened. The not remembering, bearable.
Forgetting what lies behind, I press on..."I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward--towards Jesus." Philippians 3:14 Message
This is what is worth celebrating today. Jesus, waiting. For me.
Waiting, with my son, safe in His arm. Oh, Jesus, waiting.
That's what I will remember today.