Do Not

Do not let your heart be troubled ( distressed, agitated).

You believe in and adhere to and trust and rely on God....   John 14:1 AMP

Do not.

Like a fork in the path, don't choose the one labeled Agitation. The one that is like a washing machine in an endless cycle of churning and spinning. The one that keeps my heart in a tizzy, like soap bubbles frothing over the tub.

Make the choice to wander down the one marked Believe, instead. That agitation? It only looks at Deb. The other option? It is gluing my eyes, my heart, on Him. It's about choosing to lean hard against His chest, relying on His strong arms to carry me.

Otherwise, I am climbing a wobbly ladder, one that is weak and splintered. Incapable. Unable to hold.

Oh, I'm not discussing the normal, "Should I start running or riding a bike?"  

No, I'm contemplating heart issues. Will I give thanks for this ache or will I  wallow in worry? Will I choose, as an act of my will, to believe God is exactly who He says He is? Or will I wait-it-out with Fear as my companion or Doubt as my best friend?

At the beginning of a year freshly picked as if it was fruit upon a tree, even this day, when wayward cells seem to be multiplying within my daughter or when I witness a life-long commitment crumble, and grief wants to have its way, I can still choose.

Give thanks or turn away.

Rely on God, or trust in me.

Like tape mending a rip upon the page, Father, I choose to adhere to You.

You.

You.

You.

Oh, Lord. You.