Wide Open Spaces

I thought I had it made. My dream house, lots of trees and wide open spaces. I had goats (Pygmy goats are so much fun! ) And chickens, lots of chickens that laid scrumptious eggs. I could walk outside and smell fresh mown hay and listen to the soft nickers of our horse. It really was a dream come true and I was convinced I would be there until they laid my body in the ground.
I was wrong.
Just as the Psalms say, it rains on the just and the unjust, and so it rained upon me and mine.
I now live on the top two floors of a rented house, with no yard. At all.
And oh how I've ached over the loss of that home, of that land. Even now, I grieve over the taste of store bought eggs and being unable to walk outdoors just to enjoy the view.
For three years now I have been in this place of longing. For what was. What used to be.
I walk outside to wall-to-wall cars, horns honking, radios blaring. I've lost the sense of freedom and peace from land spread wide. At times I simply want to wail over all that is gone.
It was in this place, on a day filled with sorrow and ache, that my Father came, whispering.
"Beloved, I am your wide open space. In Me you have an endless view and constant delight. My gifts never end and I am the Prince of Peace. Come to Me, Daughter, with your longings and aches. Seek Me, the giver of Life, Abundant. You have been searching for what does not last, what does not satisfy. I alone can satisfy. Come. "
It was as if , with those words, I suddenly awoke from a bad dream. I was startled by such grace, such mercy.
"Pushed to the wall, I called to God; from the wide open spaces He answered.." Psalm 118:5 Message
" Christ has set us free to live a free life." Galatians 5:1 Message
Isn't that what I was really craving? Freedom of heart and mind? What I was pining after had little to do with where I lived. I wanted my yearnings satisfied. Like a small child crying over a lost balloon, I didn't understand that there was more, so much more being offered. I was so busy looking back that I couldn't appreciate what I had now.
I may not have chickens or goats or land or even my own home, but I do have God. And He is more than enough.
He is all I need.
He is a land spread wide. With an endless view. Oh, how I love that!