I just wanted a cup of coffee today.
I wanted to walk into my kitchen, pour coffee into my cup, open my refrigerator, use my favorite creamer, sit at the table and relish the drink.
It seemed so little, this want. A simple cup of coffee.
By the end of the day, I was in tears over its lack.
It wasn't the brew I was actually longing for. Though the familiar jolt of caffeine would have been nice. No, it was the familiar. The “my...” that I was really missing.
I wanted what belonged to me. I wanted the right to mine. The right to possess. The right to have control over my life.
Bottom line: I wanted my own way.
A disciple once told Jesus,”Teacher, I will follow You wherever You go.” His response? “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to rest His head.” Matthew 8:19-20
What's the issue here?
It sounds so holy and righteous to say “I'll follow You anywhere, Lord!” The truth is, anywhere includes suffering. It includes loss. It includes hard. Jesus is merely pointing out , “You don't really mean that.”
Today was about it being hard, and not wanting that.
It was about not having a nest and choosing to follow anyway.
Even if there is no coffee.