Friday, September 14, 2012

Out-of-Control


The jaws clench tight. The head aches.
It's this situation. This chaos in my life.
I feel out-of-control. Helpless.
I don't like it. It pushes my buttons. Causes the stomach to knot further.
I want to kick. To flail. To scream.
It hurts. Feels unsafe. Insecure.
I can't fix it. There's no magic wand to wave. No fairy godmother.
Only the uncertainty.
It's funny. How often I've said it.
“God, You be in charge.”
Here I am, not in control. Not in authority.
Only God. And I am fussing.
Why won't I listen to my own words? Why won't I hear His?
“I will cry to God Most High, to God who accomplishes all things for me.”
Psalm 57:2
He wants to accomplish ALL.
He is able to complete ALL.
The very position I detest is the best position to be: helpless.
I cry out: I relinquish control.
And He accomplishes.

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