Stay

In days gone by, there were occasions when I needed my little ones to Stay. Put. You know, like the time you went shopping and those boys, rambunctious, wanted to play under the garment rack, while the girls were lingering over the Barbies and all you really wanted was to make it through the store without any mishaps and finish the list? You just wanted everyone to stick to the cart, like glue. And could you just pay attention to me, because, really? All I want to do is take care of you. There was a purpose in the journey. Besides the shoes for him and the birthday gifts for his sister, the food to fill tummies and the soap for cleaning. There were life lessons to be learned. Budgeting and menu making, kindness to strangers and respect for others. But mostly? I wanted those young hearts to know my love, my tender care. And how can I teach you, if you wander or drag behind? I need you to remain with me.
These are the thoughts, flying, when I read His words.
"Let him trust in the name of the Lord, and stay upon his God." Isaiah 50:10
It is that single word, stay, that captures me.
I confess, I have been hard pressed to stay upon my God, lately. How could I? When needs are pressing and heart is torn and storms keep crashing? And when I finally told Him, that I didn't want to, didn't know how and what does that mean, anyway? That is when His love came soothing. And He reminded me of wanting my children to stand still. And why.
So they would know I loved them. That I had a purpose for my actions. That I wanted to take care of them. It suddenly became clear that my God, He really wanted to care for me. Lavish His love upon me.
Then I kept reading.
In the Amplified version, it says, "and let him lean upon and be supported by his God."
This wasn't just a matter of sticking to the shopping cart, walking by Jesus' side. This was more like those grey heads leaning hard on their walkers, finding the support needed to stay upright, to move their feet, forward.
Now I begin to understand. It is only as I acknowledge who my God is, and choose to trust in His very character, that I can recognize His ability to support me through this journey. It is when I trust in Him, that I can sense His tender care and know there is a purpose in all this. And that His motive is love. Always love.
I recall,once more, those small limbs, scrambling under the garment rack. Sometimes to hide from brother and other times, simply weary. More than once I would glue one to the front of the cart, to go sailing through the store. Or gently lay one inside for a rest. Or better yet, clasp one in my arms, reassuring.
No more wandering for me. At least not today. I have found a cart to rest in. Even arms clasping. And I am comforted.
Today, Jesus needs me to remain with Him.