Monday, July 13, 2015

My Prayer for Mercy

I love the LORD because He hears my voice, and my prayer for mercy.
How kind the LORD is! How good He is! So merciful, this God of ours!
Psalm 116:1,5 NLT

I wrote it down, there in the margin: "I have prayed for mercy for Ruth since she was diagnosed."  She, whose ashes are now scattered. I catch my breath as I read these words, penned a year ago. I know it sure, certain, though I hear her voice no longer and her battle has ceased, I know.
He heard my voice, my prayers for mercy. He heard. And He answered.
From the very beginning, I had begged God to have mercy on her. I repeatedly asked for Him to be the Father of Mercy that He promised He was. I had no clue what that would entail, how it would look. I only knew that I didn't want her to have to fight those wayward cells for years, as I had seen another do.
I believe it was His mercy that enabled her to have a year of strength, of laughter, and the ability to do so many of the things she loved.
It was His mercy that sent a constant stream of people to her side, to love her so well.
It was His kindness, goodness, and His mercy that allowed her demise to come so quickly. She did not suffer long; the battle did not drag on endlessly.
I am humbled by this. I give my Father of Mercy thanks as I recognize that His mercy may not always look the way we expect or even want. We think His mercy should have meant that Ruth was healed or at least still alive, fighting with every breath.
He is far wiser and far greater than our puny desires. Not only does He orchestrate each life, but He encompasses all of eternity. I can not even begin to fathom the grains of sand that He has numbered. I do not know even a tenth of the stars that He has named.
Ruth, unable to receive our hugs anymore, is His mercy. Her freedom from sickness, is His kindness. And His goodness was displayed when she was first held in my arms long years before.
"I love the LORD because He hears my voice, and my prayer for mercy. "
And because He answers.

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