It is this process of choosing that is festering. Choosing obedience. Choosing to be vulnerable and follow You. I have cast my lot in following You before. I have boldly done what You required. Only to have it all come searing back as fiery darts. I have left clean and returned filthy. I have ventured forth in innocence and been stunned by abject failure. My lack and my broken dreams parade before me, casting wary eyes.
The real question is this: Will You be enough? If I choose to follow You, and full of lack, again, will You be enough Mercy? When my heart becomes bruised and sore, will You be enough Comfort? When I am weary and weak and even empty, will You be enough Grace and Strength? When I face the Devourer, will You be enough Protection?
Will You be Enough?
Yet, You keep prodding me to leap off the cliff into You. My spirit quakes within me! The price has been too high! You ask so much. You ask too much!
“My flesh and my heart may fail , but God is the Rock and firm Strength of my heart...”
Psalm 73:26 Amplified
I am compelled forward.The fester pierced. The choice made.
Love woos me. Faithfulness staggers me. By Mercy, I am undone.