Wednesday, March 21, 2012

I Have Wanted Yesterday

This week I have wanted yesterday. I have wanted my yard, full of daffodils, blooming. All my favorite varieties were there. The large jonquils, the white ruffled blooms with yellow centers, the petite hand-tall ones, and the towering daffodils with dainty blossoms. I had spreading clumps of daffodils that have witnessed the years. I had oodles of daffodils. Each March, I would traipse through the yard, plucking handfuls of spring to adorn my home.
The daffodils are blooming and I no longer have a yard. I have wept, longing for those daffodils. I have wept, longing for yesterday, and a yard full of flowers.
In the midst of my weeping, in the midst of my pity party, the Lord taps me on the shoulder. He whispers loud Paul's words in Philippians 3:13 Forgetting what lies behind …. And again in verse 7: Whatever I have gained, I now count as loss for the sake of Christ.
“What about today, Deb? What about how you are serving Me, now, right where you are? Do you really want yesterday with its fleeting flowers? Are you willing to count that as loss, for My sake?”
I am reminded of opportunities I have here in the city, to teach, to write, to pour my heart into the lives of others. To witness, not only beauty, but God transforming lives.
I no longer want yesterday. I want to be fully present here. Where I belong.
Besides, I just spied a daffodil ready to burst into bloom.

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