Friday, June 8, 2012

A Widening Circle

The baby wants to be held.
The toddler clings to my leg.
This is new territory. Public. Filled with strangers and uncertainty for little eyes.
Yearning heart seeks to explore. She toddles in an ever-widening circle. Returning less frequently for that reassuring hug. She has found contentment in widening circles. Splashes and giggles attest to her comfort in being farther away from me.
Little one is still unsure. Uncomfortable with distance. Unwilling to release the grip. Clinging, desperately.
Whispers reverberate in my heart. “This is what faith looks like.”
Initially my trust was weak, desperate. I gripped circumstances, feelings to know my God was near. I was uncomfortable with distance. I did not know if it was safe to venture forth in trust. The grip was hard. Clinging.
Soon my yearning heart sought to explore. Step out.
I needed less proof in my feelings , knowing my God was there. That He was trustworthy. Reassurance did not happen as frequently.
I walked in widening circles. Trust growing. Faith increasing.
Until one day I found myself content in splashes of joy.
Faith grew only as I widened the circle. Distanced myself from feelings and clung instead to facts.
God is there. I am safe.
Yearning heart splashes and giggles once more.
I add a splash of joy.

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